I feel like I've lost sight of what I want to do.<br><br>JesusBranded did start out as a t-shirt project four years ago from a bunch of idealistic college kids who wanted to do <i>something</i>. Well, it's not anymore that, but it's a terribly long process to shake off baggage. T-shirts are cool, but there's gotta be something better underneath it, something more substantial- even more substantial than printed "Jesus" messages. I guess the closest we've ever coming to glimpse that "substance" has been in the conversations we've had with other people- maybe believers, maybe not, maybe on the fence- about their own stories. Salil and I's new aim with this blog project is to keep on getting closer with those stories by venturing out and sharing ours first in our posts. Everything's been cool, but lately I've found that I started to really get worried about what's marketable, what's consumable, and what's spreadable- meaning that I've slowly been turning to my faith to find things that can please the masses. But if this vision of really getting at conversations with all of you is to remain true, then I have to start learning how to share this journey, and not just the great and the good and the Spirit-led and the awesome and the highs. There may be wisdom in NOT sharing everything, but I still believe that you can't hide the ugly parts, or the brutally honest parts, or the doubts, or the questions- basically the parts that you can't think out loud in church or in bible study unless you like feeling like a spiritual retard around those have it together. So, with that in mind...<br><br>For the next coming weeks, this will be an exercise in conversations, or at least attempts at it. There will be no t-shirts, no marketing, no nothing- just a blog of a boy who knows he loves his God, but has enough baggage that leaves him with more questions than answers, that makes him wonder if he's the only one who thinks these things, and is not necessarily looking for the 1,000th cool pastor to fix him but instead just to hear other people maybe start thinking aloud too; a blog of two friends who want to know what encountering Jesus looks like in other people, because frankly sometimes they're scared that maybe they're the only ones who have these questions.<br><br>"I am aware that I am in constant need of something, and I don't know you well enough to know if it's you I really want."<br><br>I scanned this off my journal from a year back, and I think I worded it very carefully as to not miscommunicate it, even to myself. I've grown up my entire life around the Christian church, and many varied instances of it: Protestant, Catholic, Pentecostal, Evangelistic, Non-denominationals... I can say that I've experienced Jesus, that I've come to know Jesus, but yet, there's this honest thought I can never say out loud because it's seemingly damning evidence that I may not know him after all... Songs like "What a friend I've found in Jesus" or "Jesus, You Are My Everything" are always tough for me to sing because... well, not because I don't believe in Him or want to, but it seems difficult to honestly say so when I still have bouts of loneliness and sadness in my life. How can I say that He is my all in all, when I'm still wrestling with my own plans for my own life? How can I say that everything I have is His, when I can't shake the sadness of loss of relationships and friendships? So that's the conversation that I hope to have in this post: Have you faced any of these questions? Is "having it together" an impossibility, or is it liveable? What does in mean for you, now that you've gotten to that part of your journey when you can sincerely say "yeah, Jesus, You ARE my all in all..."? It's a big world, filled with tons of stories- I hope I can share in yours the way you guys have shared in mine. So please- share on.<br><br>Thanks so much for having been a part of JesusBranded- you have no idea what your voices mean to us. Love, Sam. 2009-09-15T07:22:13Z 13 15 58 /images/090915AllTooEmpty-990.jpg /images/090915AllTooEmpty-640.jpg /images/090915AllTooEmpty-244.jpg JesusBranded ignores t-shirts to get back to conversation. 26 9 56 /images/090915AllTooEmpty-shirts.jpg 2009-09-15T07:22:13Z empty 9